Today is my grandmother's 40th day of being gone. My family went to Manila last Sunday to visit her and they ate dinner together. As in my WHOLE FAMILY was there. Except for me though. I wanted to spend this 40th day of her alone. I wanted to be alone. I don't want to pretend in front of my family that I'm not hurting. Because I am. So much. I just miss you so much, Nanay. Tsaka ang dami kong gustong sabihin at i-kwento sa'yo. This blog post is for you, Nay :)
Nanay,
For starters, alam mo ba, Nay, nag-OT ulit ako. Kasi ayokong umuwi agad sa bahay kasi iiyak nga lang ako. Everytime I remember you, at first I smile, pero habang tumatagal napapaiyak nalang ako. I wish you were here. Still alive. Ni hindi mo man lang makikita ung grad pic ko. Hindi ko man lang makikita ung reaction mo pag nakita mo un. Kukuhanin ko palang siya sa school sa Friday. At gusto ko ikaw ang unang makakakita nun. Pero pa'no? You're not here anymore. T__T
Third birthday na ni Dahlia. Excited ka pa naman na i-celebrate un diba? Lagi ka nalang tuwang-tuwa pag magbi-birthday na siya. Hinahanap ka niya palagi. Tapos pag tinatanong ko siya kung nasaan ka, ang isasagot niya sa'kin, "Andun. Sa Manila." Ang kulit-kulit na niya. At sobrang daldal. :)
Hmmmm. Ano pa ba? Ayokong masyadong pahabain 'to. Magiging rant lang 'to eh. Pero, Nay, I miss you so much. And I love you. Visit me in my dreams ONLY okay? :) Please look after Tatay. Wala naman ako palagi sa tabi niya eh. I'll see you soon, Nay! (Pag natutunan ko nang pumunta mag-isa sa kinaroroonan mo :p)
